Oracle of Truth

Claim While delivering the offset speech at Yale University in 2000, Oracle CEO Larry Ellison said Graduates of Yale University, I apologize if you have endured this slip of prologue before, entirely I want you to do something for me. Please, take a broad(a) look slightly you. serve at the kinsfolkmate on your left. Look at the class fellow on your right. Now, consider this quint years from now, 10 years from now, so far 30 years from now, betting odds argon the individual on your left is going to be a loser. The person on your right, meanwhile, result also be a loser. And you, in the middle?What stinkpot you expect? Loser. Loserhood. Loser Cum Laude. Status False. Origins In July 2000, an inventive floor about Oracle CEO Larry Ellison besto gaing an unusual commencement speech upon the graduating class of Yale University began popping up in various inboxes. Some were left enquire if this could be the real thing, tending(p) what is known of Ellisons famed ego, and be cause the wide circulation of the 1997 Kurt Vonnegut commencement speech hoax had prep atomic number 18d the way for this piece to sound plausible. In truth, Ellison did not go for a such a speech at Yale, nor anywhere else.The clause was the fanciful creation of Andrew Marlatt, a writer for the sarcasm website, SatireWire. It was reprinted (with SatireWires express permission) on BBspot, another satirical web site. The full text of the piece ELLISON TO GRADS DIPLOMAS ARE FOR LOSERS Oracle CEO Urges Students to Drop out, Start up NEW HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire. com) In one of the more controversial commencement conductes in memory, Oracle CEO and college dropout Larry Ellison told Yales Class of 2000 they were losers whose hard-won diplomas would never propel them into the ranks of the super rich.The evangelical Ellison, noting that college dropouts Bill Gates, Paul aloneen, and Michael Dell were, like himself, on Forbes recent give 10 list of billionaires, urged freshmen and sophomores at the ceremony to drop out and kick the bucket up, and added that the undereducated Yale security guards who ushered him off stage probably had a let on shot at uber-wealth than graduating seniors. What follows is a transcript of the speech delivered by Ellison at the Yale University last month Graduates of Yale University, I apologize if you have endured this type of prologue before, but I want you to do something for me.Please, take a ood look around you. snopes. com Larry Ellison Loser Commencement Speech http//www. snopes. com/quotes/ellison. asp? print=y ? 1 3? 2012/9/21 1041 Look at the classmate on your left. Look at the classmate on your right. Now, consider this five years from now, 10 years from now, even 30 years from now, odds are the person on your left is going to be a loser. The person on your right, meanwhile, will also be a loser. And you, in the middle? What can you expect? Loser. Loserhood. Loser Cum Laude. In fact, as I look out before me today, I dont see a thousand applys for a bright tomorrow.I dont see a thousand prox leaders in a thousand industries. I see a thousand losers. Youre upset. Thats understandable. After all, how can I, Lawrence Larry Ellison, college dropout, have the audacity to spout such heresy to the graduating class of one of the nations most prestigious institutions? Ill tell you why. Because I, Lawrence Larry Ellison, randomness richest creation on the planet, am a college dropout, and you are not. Because Bill Gates, richest man on the planet for now, anyway is a college dropout, and you are not. Because Paul Allen, the ternion richest man on the planet, dropped out of college, and you did not. And for dangerous measure, because Michael Dell, No. 9 on the list and moving up fast, is a college dropout, and you, yet again, are not. Hmm . . . youre very(prenominal) upset. Thats understandable. So let me stroke your egos for a moment by pointing out, quite sincerely, that your diplomas were no t attained in vain. Most of you, I imagine, have worn-out(a) four to five years here, and in many ways what youve wise(p) and endured will serve you well in the years ahead. Youve established good elaborate habits. Youve established a network of people that will encourage you down the road. And youve established what will be lifelong relationships with the word therapy. All that of is good. For in truth, you will need that network. You will need those strong work habits. You will need that therapy. You will need them because you didnt drop out, and so you will never be among the richest people in the world. Oh sure, you may, possibly, work your way up to No. 10 or No. 11, like Steve Ballmer. But then, I dont have to tell you who he really works for, do I? And for the record, he dropped out of grad school. Bit of a late bloomer. Finally, I realize that many of you, and swearfully by now most of you, are wondering, Is there anything I can do?Is there any hope for me at all? Act ually, no. Its too late. Youve absorbed too much, think you know too much. Youre not 19 anymore. You have a constitutional cap, and Im not referring to the mortar boards on your heads. Hmm youre really very upset. Thats understandable. So perhaps this would be a good time to bring up the argent lining. Not for you, Class of 00. You are a write-off, so Ill let you slink off to your pathetic $200,000-a-year jobs, where your checks will be signed by power classmates who dropped out two years ago. Instead, I want to give hope to any underclassmen here today.I say to you, and I cant stress this enough leave. guide your things and your ideas and dont come back. Drop out. Start up. For I can tell you that a cap and gown will keep you down just as surely as these security guards dragging me off this stage are keeping me down . . . The last line of the piece should have given away the joke, if nothing else did. Larry Ellison being dragged off a stage is a satisfying mental image to con template and provides snopes. com Larry Ellison Loser Commencement Speech http//www. snopes. com/quotes/ellison. asp? print=y ? 2 ? 2012/9/21 1041 a wonderful closing for a piece that would otherwise be difficult to orchestrate an ending for, but thats all it ever could be, even if Ellison had addressed the Yale Class of 2000 and had given that speech. (Which, by the way, he hadnt). Venerable institutions of high learning have at times chosen keynote verbalizers theyve ulterior had cause to regret. The price of turning the podium over to another is having to get word politely to the entirety of his address, even if it is offensive. Audiences are equable expected to rush at its culmination, and hoever introduced the speaker is still on the hook for thanking him for his insights. Such are the demands of a polite society, with security guards standing poised to remove invited guests who give voice to unpopular sentiments not figuring anywhere into the equation. Should there stil l be any remnant of doubt about the veracity of the article in question, Yale didnt have a guest speaker at its 299th gradation ceremony, held in May 2000. Yale seniors received a more personal address on Class Day, another part of this two-day commencement ceremony.The keynote speaker for that event was Bob Woodward, who graduated from Yale in 1965. (His investigation of the Watergate break-in helped win a Pulitzer Prize for The Washington Post in 1973. ) Larry Ellison is a autochthonic choice for such lampooning because this thrice-married, thricedivorced multimillionaire is known for living larger than life. A 1997 loose biography was titled The Difference Between God and Larry Ellison God Doesnt value He is Larry Ellison. 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